i vividly remember the summer of my forth year of life. a time when i was carefree and things were simple. and the only thing that mattered was the height of my ponytail and how my purple shorts looked with my pink all star converse high tops. i was getting fanced up for our neighbor chad, or am i confusing him for his brother, robbie? god, they were so cute.

as my sister and i rode in the back of gramps’ red datsun on our way to little beaver camp, we threw pebbles from the rear, watching them scatter away as we drove along the highway. we were in an innocent rush to play with our friends on the jungle gym, ride our horses, and do whatever it is that kids do at summer camp. once, leah caught me right as i was about to eat a worm to prove to chad/robbie that i was the coolest girl in town. i can’t believe i was going to do it. she actually had to talk me out of it, says the pescatarian.

and in the midst of all this happiness, little did i know that my grandmother was experiencing the last weeks of her life. after being washed in the sink by the softest, sweetest smelling, best sniffer and kisser in this world,  i stood in front of the box-shaped, bunny-eared contraption that streamed the latest on the new sensation, mtv.

as bubbie lie in bed being eaten by cancer and my mother and sister flank her,  i remember shaking it to the most popular song, whitney houston’s i want to dance with somebody. i stood in front of the tv imitating whitney and her two dancers as they opened and closed the doors of the changing rooms. as i swung my hips and twirled around, the four of us sang together, happily off tune. and in that moment, nothing mattered. we were engulfed by love, wishing to dance with somebody, somebody who loves me.

in the wake of whitney houston’s recent accidental death, it’s only appropriate i share i wanna dance with somebody. after all, it did inspire this post.